It's thirty minutes before I start to leave for church (I'm serving as a commentator for the 6pm mass) that I'm starting this entry. I don't know if I'll finish it now or maybe after mass. Let's see.
The past few weeks have been roller coaster rides with several dips and loops. Thrilling, but nauseating too.
Last week was the worst among the few weeks. It was heartbreaking, but let's deal with that later (if you want, you can scroll down straight to it to save yourself some time).
Let me first talk about movies and try to connect them with my life.
I've seen five movies in the past three weeks. I've seen three of them twice only because there was nothing else to watch.
I've seen every movie with RJ and one of them with Eise tagging along (Praise God!).
When people I don't know see me serving my brother, they say, "Buti di ka nahihirapan..."
Whoa. Wait a moment.
I love my brother. That's that.
You don't need to patronize me.
Well, in fairness, they weren't really patronizing me. They were just wondering, that's all.
The truth of the matter is that it is not really hard to take care of RJ except for certain days when he is stubborn.
You read it right. Stubborn.
There are times he wants to eat in certain restaurants and sometimes it's off the budget.
When I have something extra, or when dad or mom gives him an allowance, then I bring him somewhere nice, even when he's not asking.
There are times when he wants to go watch a movie (the guards of G4 can attest to this) and the wholesome movie doesn't start until an hour later, his stubbornness starts then pulls me to a theater where one of his favorite actors' movie is being played. Sheez.
Imagine I had to undergo watching CRANK2: High Voltage, starring Jason Statham, and he laughed all the way.
I, on the other hand, vomited afterward.
We immediately watched the wholesome movie we were supposed to watch anyway so that those images would get out of my head.
Anyways, let's get back to recent ones.
People close to me know that I'm a Sam Milby fan. Since I don't dream of marrying the guy, I don't care if he's really gay or not. I like his voice and I get lost in his eyes. That's it.
Anyways, back to the movie, I must say that some scenes were outrageous.
I'm a commuter(I use public transport), so I know that people get off certain places and it's not allowed to have people go under or on top of the vehicle, especially at the route of the jeepney Erap was driving. I know that because I go there too once in a while.
Anyways, it was for laughs, so I guess it's forgivable.
So how do I connect this movie with my life?
I love my family. That's that.
As I always say, I complain a lot, but I love them...more than my complaints...unconditionally.
There was a time when someone asked me if I would agree to emancipation if I had a chance, I said, "NO! I'm a kid and I need to be nurtured..."
Years later, I found myself thinking, "What if I said yes?"
I had several chances and people have prodded me saying, "You need to have a life of your own..."
Yet, I stand by my decision. I decided to serve my family and I'll keep on doing so, whether I get married or not (probably not, but OK, I won't close the door to my heart, like I did sometime ago).
Another corny, but an enjoyable one (enjoyable???), was 2012. I know. I'm weird. I've accepted that a long, long time ago. LOL.
When we watched this in G4, I could feel the tremors.
Yes, there were a lot of flaws (one of them was Jackson Curtis' id) and God wasn't really at the center of the hearts of most of the people...The ones that really, really prayed were "exterminated".
Ito Rapadas said on his FB status that the only thing right about it was the fact that many Filipinos were there in the cruise ship...
Pastor Steve Murrel said it was the second worst movie of all time...well, not the exact words...he was trying to recall what was worse than that movie.
Anyways, I still watched it because I remember when I was in the States people on TV were saying how bad AIR FORCE ONE was, but I enjoyed it.
Besides, the individual stories were OK, as my mom put it. Plus, my bestie Eise loves Adam Lambert (Time for Miracles).
How does it connect with my life, anyways? Well, "the fear of the unknown..." It's a good thing that GOD is greater than anything.
RJ loves this movie. He was able to watch the interviews so he knows they are people and they are just acting.
I, on the other hand, like it only because it is one of those movies that is better than book, in MY opinion, that is. I know most of the people wouldn't agree with me.
We shouldn't really compare them, but somehow, it couldn't be helped.
Usually, I say, "The book's definitely better!"
Yet, NEW MOON on the silver screen is more exciting.
Now, as for the story, one journalist said, "It messes the brains of the viewers..."
He also said that the series is not vexing, per se, but the fans are.
Hehehe. I won't go there, but I just wanna mention that I watched it a second time because the movie we wanted to see's first showing was an hour and a half away. I wanted to leave ten minutes earlier than RJ. He made a sound to say "Let's stay."
I was a little worried because I already bought the tickets. All the Citibank movie credits were maxed out, but he has disability discounts, so it was OK, but I didn't want them to go to waste.
Thank goodness that he only waited for a certain scene to happen and we still had time before the next movie was going to start.
How does it connect with my life? More ways the one. I'll leave it at that.
RJ knows Rain is a singer and an actor. How would he not know? Mom enjoys watching stuff with subtitles, and he sees him a lot.
For some reason unbeknownst to me, he really loves action films and wasn't scared at all. I first noticed that he enjoyed it when we watched the fourth of the LETHAL WEAPON series in Ali Mall. He was smiling ear to ear after the movie was through. JET LI! JET LI! JET LI!
He also loves musicals and the ones with lots of lights and magic. Just don't let him watch a local fantasy movie.
I remember him having nightmares when we watched one of the Enteng Kabisote films(we always watch the Vic Sotto MMFF movies) ...I think it was the one with Victor Neri(he played his role so well)...he had nightmares after...to think it was supposed to be a "family film". He even had a seizure.
Yet, let him watch the HARRY POTTER series, and he'll jump for joy.
Hmmmm, so maybe, just maybe you're wondering what the connection was...go figure! (Sorry. It's very private.)
I've read this, watched several animated versions, seen stage plays, seen several movie versions...the list goes on and on and on, but this one's the best!
I had to hold RJ's hand several times because some scenes just felt so real.
He wasn't scared of the werewolves and vampires...he wasn't scared of the ninjas and bloody scenes because he knew they were just acting, but the spirits seemed real...I had to smile at him several times, squeezed his hand several times and patted him on the back, just to assure him he was safe from those spirits.
The nuns watching were appalled when the Ghost of Christmas present mentioned something negative about the men of the cloth...(in the book it says, "There were ruddy, brown-faced, broad-girthed Spanish Friars, and winking from their shelves in wanton slyness at the girls as they went by, and glanced demurely at the hung-up mistletoe. " and it also says, "'There are some upon this earth of yours,' returned the Spirit, 'who lay claim to know us, and who do their deeds of passion, pride, ill-will, hatred, envy, bigotry, and selfishness in our name, who are as strange to us and all our kith and kin, as if they had never lived. Remember that, and charge their doings on themselves, not us.' ") on the spirits of Christmas.
Christians have debated about this Dickens novel for over a century already. The dead are not allowed to visit the living to give them warnings (the story of the rich man and Lazarus) et cetera, et cetera.
I don't want to debate with anyone tonight.
So how does it connect with my life?
We can all relate to it. I want to have another chance to probably fix my life.
Sadly, it's just a figment of Charles Dickens' imagination.
"Why was last week the worst of the past few weeks?" you may ask.
Of course, the Maguindanao Massacre is one reason, and several other factors...
My nephew (from Davao) dying yesterday really weakened my knees that I wasn't able to attend choir practice.
It was a wonder of wonders that I was still able to sing.
He was in his mid-twenties, married, with kids.
My younger first cousins treated him like a little brother than a nephew and he will be dearly missed.
My "world" was already crumbling last Friday because of several factors.
I just asked God for help because I couldn't let people down.
Thursday evening I promised Tita Jenny that I would make slides for the other songs. The last song, "Thank You, Lord" was not used because for one reason or another, Gabby's copy was not included in the song sheets prepared for him. It was a good thing that I wasn't able to delete "You are my all in all". The only sad thing about that was the fact that the fonts were different per slide. LOL.
So, why was "my world" crumbling?
Two guys of the same name (both from the Muntinlupa area) made me feel nothing. I "used" to have feelings for these two guys(not at the same time of course) and I am blessed that I have moved on, but to make me feel worthless on the same day was too much for me.
I'm just so glad that the mass alleviated the pain I felt and the company of my brothers and sisters in Christ made me feel better.
The party was toned down because of the past calamities(we're just going to have an outreach...), but it was enjoyable, nonetheless.
Well, Tito Boi gave a long speech, but he felt he needed to say those things because he wanted to impart his knowledge.
I purposely did not answer the questions I knew to give chances to others, but when I did answer, I was wrong. Hehehe! (There were "door" prices for each correct answer.)
We were able to watch the canned version of the party last year. It was then that I understood why my friend thinks I don't dance well. I watched the tapes of my dances through the years, and comparing with what I saw that night (and of course that incident of the flying shoe---hehehe---- and that crazy thing I did during the SE reunion...LOL), they are much, much better. Well, they'll never find out how good I was because I think I deteriorated already. Anyways, I had fun last year, and we (The Minstrels of the Lord) won. That's what's important. =)
Father Joel partied with us and sang WORDS and BEAUTIFUL GIRL. He sings well, but I honestly don't like his version of the Eucharistic Doxology (Through Him...). Thank goodness, he didn't sing that last night. Hehehe! He's a nice guy, a Canon Lawyer at that(he's fixing my friends' annulment cases), and I think he's serious with his vocation. Let's pray for him that he will remain as such until his final breath, most especially because it's the Year for the Clergy.
I stayed until 9:20pm then walked home.
When I reached home I started crying again then told my dearest friends that I couldn't go with them...
I was supposed to go with them to a bazaar yesterday morning, but one of them was going to be there, so I decided to bring RJ to SM Sucat instead.
While eating lunch my mom's sister messaged me telling me to break the news that Jikko, my nephew, is dead.
I fought hard not to cry. RJ noticed that I was teary eyed that he stopped eating. I had the rest of the food wrapped then slowly we walked to the other building.
RJ was promised a movie, and he pointed to NINJA ASSASSIN. He doesn't do that all the time, so we watched that.
Yes, there were several gory scenes, but the story was very real. Their master was very evil, but thought, in a very twisted way, that he was doing his "children" a favor.
I "love" Rain's movements. It's no wonder he was given that role.
After the movie, we went straight home.
I was supposed to attend the adult choir practice, but as I mentioned before, my knees were very weak...very wobbly.
I rested for a while, went online, then went to church.
For some reason, the LCD monitor was on, and so was the CPU, but the monitor was off.
Del and I tried to "connect the dots", but couldn't. Ate Grace said, "it was just unplugged..."
Well, maybe it was... it doesn't matter. At least, the problem was solved.
Thank God for a beautiful homily and beautiful songs, "I survived".
There was a thirty minute gap after the mass before our parish advent recollection.
Father Paolo said, without malice of course, "You look good in black."
I replied, "Grazie mille, mille grazie" then curtsied. =)
A few minutes before eight, I sent Sis K an sms. She was very, very tired.
I asked the others if they had cameras, but none of them did.
Having "no choice", so I thought, I went home.
I was having a mild asthma attack when I reached the church that I gave Kuya Rolly my camera, the extra batteries, and then requested him to take pictures.
After two shots he told me that the memory card was full that he had to go home for a while. Well, the internal memory could still be used, but I didn't argue.
Later, K sent me a message to tell me that she was coming. Praise God.
I immediately sent Kuya Rolly an sms to tell him that K was there.
I'll be forever grateful that even if K was so tired, she was willing to be a steward of time and talent.
The recollection was enjoyable, and of course, filled with lessons.
Father Paolo reminded us that we cannot blame all the clergy, for like the twelve apostles, there are "Judas Iscariots"...(1 in every twelve...)
My mind was so addled that I forgot why Father Paolo was talking about the clergy during an advent recollection...then after a few minutes I remembered, "Oh, it's the year for priests..."
To show you how addled my brain was, here's an example:
Noel and Gae Piamonte were seated next to me before K arrived. I kept on thinking what I was supposed to say to them.
The following day I realized what it was.
The long overdue gift for Tita Dolly (Noel's mom) was in my bag. LOL.
Anyways, we had a lot of laughs, but a lot of chords were struck, I'm sure.
Let's pray for the clergy this year, and every day.
God bless us all.
(I'm not changing the time stamp, but I finished this entry on November 30, 2009, 12:15 am)